What I've been Missing

I think it may take me a few months to get over the fact that I'm so happy about spring being here. I realized another beautiful thing about this season tonight as I rode my bike home from dinner in daylight. I didn't realize how much I had taken forgranted daylight after 4pm. The popular phrase states "you don't know what you have until it's gone" - But in this case, I suppose I didn't realize what I've been missing!! I've certainly slowed the pace down on my bike now that there are so many pretty things to distract me with.

The past few days have renewed my appreciation for this old town. I know it will hands down be one the most beautiful places I've had the chance to study in. That's what I thought about today in the library as I sat by a glass wall with a river just a few feet away on the other side. That's right. I made it to the library today. Unfortunately I had a little trouble staying awake through the book on "International Society" theories. But at least it was a start. And since it was so pretty outside, I rewarded myself for waking up with a walk by that river before a second attempt at becoming a scholar again. The 5 weeks of rest have maybe been too good for me. I feel like I'm at summer camp now or something- for smart kids. Kind of like Governor's Scholars was except I actually have to do work now. The temptation to just go to the park or spend the afternoon punting may win in the end I'm afraid.

I love being here- but a lot of important things are coming up back home that I hate to miss out on! My sorority formal was last weekend. Easter was a little different with out the entire family- and soon it will be my sister's birthday!! I can't believe she will be 23.

Then there is the Georgetown Graduation. I hadn't put much thought about it until today because I just realized it is happening in just 3 weeks! My way of coping with being away has generally consisted of becoming absorbed in what is around me rather than what is at home- but it is truy difficult to avoid thinking about all of my friends who are graduating before I return. I guess this is the first year that I will be saying farewell to some very close friends- and it is hard to imagine that I won't actually be getting to see them off at all! There are always hopes of visiting again but growing up in a boarding school I've pretty much learned to accept the realities that come with people needing to move on. Even when it's a bit sad to face.

I guess that is why my sister and I became so close over the years. Somewhere along the way she became my only constant -not just in the existence of our friendship but also her ideals and morals and all that goes along with knowing who she was and wanted to be - she's always had that kind of stability that frustrated me to no end when I wanted to be left to my constant questioning and truly did not want the advice that would have served me well. Even now her constant presence seems to hold as something I depend on - save the fact that she will be living 7 hours away from me when I get home. Eh, she still won't be able to get rid of me.

Ah, but then- there is Mother's Day. But I've got that taken care of. I gave mom italian chocolate for mother's day when she came to visit me. Why so early?, mom asked. Well, for some reason I thought that mother's day happened before she even arrived here -sometime in March. Apparently so did my housemate Kristie (she wrote about this here), so I don't feel too bad. Well, we were both feeling pretty stupid until our housemates told us that the Mother's day in England IS celebrated in March. I was wondering why all the cards were out 3 months early!! So at least I'm somewhere in between late and early for something. I still hate to miss that though.

I'm not sure why I got off on all the things I will be missing. I think I meant to direct this post into the idea of things that I seem to take forgranted- and have recently been reminded of lately one way or another. Tragedies seem to consuming everything lately. Yesterday I rode my bike into town and the road was blocked where a student had been hit on his bike and died less than an hour earlier. It is particularly disturbing as I ride my bike through that intersection everyday probably just as carelessly as the next person. I am sad for my friends here who knew him. The v-tech thing is weighing heavily on my mind as well. It's not really something I can even attempt to talk or write about. I am reminded of the importance of prayer, my dependence on Christ, my own unfaithfulness, His mercy and constant presence.

The campus minister of my former high school posted a podcast on his website which helped me sort things a bit. I encourage anyone who may appreciate a good take on the subject from a Christian viewpoint to take time to listen to it (just 26 minutes)

Just click below :)
InternetMonk Podcast from internetmonk.com

April 19