So, the value of journaling on a blog resides not simply in the pictures or a listing of events, but moreso in the record of my experience in terms of thought, emotion, perspective, etc. at certain points along the way. So, while I should really be working on my essay which is due tomorrow...I've decided to pause briefly just to jot down a few thoughts.
Oddly enough, I'm not quite as nervous as I have been with this next essay under the topic of Liberal Neutrality. Not that I have sorted it out completely by any means...but I think I have read more at this point in the week than the past...or at least I feel like I'm learning how to go about my writing process more effectively with the material I am analyzing. So perhaps I am noting some sort of slow progress as a student as of this week. I hope anyway. If nothing else, I'm finding what it is to independently learn.
I cannot believe that as of today I have been away from The States for exactly one month. Time is certainly flying. After this essay I will have completed half of my work for Hilary Term. With that said, I think I should get to work now.
Also, I have added some links to the right to some of the places I have been, scholars I have had the pleasure of listening to, and just things I would like to remember or further research...the websites can better explain what I cannot about the people and places...they are surely of interest to me so I thought they might interest some of you as well.......enjoy.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Calm Before the Storm
Sunday, February 04, 2007
A Great God Anywhere
Tonight I decided to attend Christ Church Cathedral for Evensong worship. Now, I have been anticipating my first trip to Christ Church College, mainly because it is the place were the Harry Potter Dining Room scene is filmed....so I expected it to be grand. Even though it was near dark when I entered the courtyard, I was in awe at the magnitude of the cathedral and the surrounding college building and courtyard. In the center of the courtyard was a large fountain...everything was so picturesque. 
Inside the cathedral was equally as impressive, as the arch ways and details in the architecture were just amazing. Next to the place I sat was the Tomb of George Nowers dating to the 1650's! I'm truly finding it difficult to describe the images of my surroundings...
Even more indescribable is my impression from the choir. The choir was all boys, and though I've seen the children singing on t.v. for certain occasions I have never heard a choir like this in person. There are 16 boys or so and 12 men the choir ranging from maybe the age of 7 to 18 maybe...when I found this picture of the Christ Church Choir it said they were one of the best cathedral choirs in the country, and I believe it. The sound was purely angelic. The younger boys of course sang soprano, making for the perfect harmonic blend of voices.
The service was rigidly structured consisting mostly of prayers and a couple of Bible readings. Most of the service was sung by the choir. I just cannot express the beauty of the sound as their voices echoed throughout stone cathedral- you can only imagine how the acoustics would sound.
I found the service uplifting. And as we closed with the hymn "How Great Thou Art" I thought of the universality of Christianity...even in extremely different forms of worship- this one much more orderly and ritual based than what I attend at home- some things like the Greatness of God are just not bound by practices and geography...or even time.
The church I attended last week was St. Aldates. Directly across from Christ Church, however completely different in it's worship style. It was much like the contemporary services at places like Hillcrest. The most exciting part was the Baptism, which they conducted in the middle of morning worship. What impressed me the most was the fact that each person shared their testimony of salvation before their baptism....and after each baptism a flood of family members, and church members would surround the person to pray for them- while the next candidate shared their testimony.
The stories were sometimes emotional and I thought made for a great witness to people who may share similar experiences in the crowd. I had never seen this done before, but hearing the excitement in the new believers made me all the more excited for them! Another memorable note was the fact that these people were from so many different places...3 of them from Poland...and I know that that is more likely to happen in Europe simply because there is movement from one country to another here...but again, it was neat to see people from the various background worhiping together and celebrating the greatness of God.
Inside the cathedral was equally as impressive, as the arch ways and details in the architecture were just amazing. Next to the place I sat was the Tomb of George Nowers dating to the 1650's! I'm truly finding it difficult to describe the images of my surroundings...
Even more indescribable is my impression from the choir. The choir was all boys, and though I've seen the children singing on t.v. for certain occasions I have never heard a choir like this in person. There are 16 boys or so and 12 men the choir ranging from maybe the age of 7 to 18 maybe...when I found this picture of the Christ Church Choir it said they were one of the best cathedral choirs in the country, and I believe it. The sound was purely angelic. The younger boys of course sang soprano, making for the perfect harmonic blend of voices.The service was rigidly structured consisting mostly of prayers and a couple of Bible readings. Most of the service was sung by the choir. I just cannot express the beauty of the sound as their voices echoed throughout stone cathedral- you can only imagine how the acoustics would sound.
I found the service uplifting. And as we closed with the hymn "How Great Thou Art" I thought of the universality of Christianity...even in extremely different forms of worship- this one much more orderly and ritual based than what I attend at home- some things like the Greatness of God are just not bound by practices and geography...or even time.
The church I attended last week was St. Aldates. Directly across from Christ Church, however completely different in it's worship style. It was much like the contemporary services at places like Hillcrest. The most exciting part was the Baptism, which they conducted in the middle of morning worship. What impressed me the most was the fact that each person shared their testimony of salvation before their baptism....and after each baptism a flood of family members, and church members would surround the person to pray for them- while the next candidate shared their testimony.The stories were sometimes emotional and I thought made for a great witness to people who may share similar experiences in the crowd. I had never seen this done before, but hearing the excitement in the new believers made me all the more excited for them! Another memorable note was the fact that these people were from so many different places...3 of them from Poland...and I know that that is more likely to happen in Europe simply because there is movement from one country to another here...but again, it was neat to see people from the various background worhiping together and celebrating the greatness of God.
Adventures to Honor CS Lewis
Saturday morning- it was soooo hard to wake up after such a late night...but when Kristie came into my room at 11:30 and reminded me of our plans I was way to excited to sleep any longer.This was the day we were going to travel to CS Lewis house and Trinity Chruch, the parish he attended and the cemetary where he is buried!
This was my first extended trip by bike. I know that it couldn't have been as long as it felt, but there is this massive hill about halfway there that just wore me out completely.
My legs were wearing down, and at one point I had gotten a little behind and thought Krisite and Ryan had turned down a street..when I didn't see them anywhere on this road I got really nervous. I went down a blocked, then turned around and went bak to the main road...and still didn't see them anywhere...how did I manage to get lost on a group bike riding adventure??? Luckily after I kept going over a another hill I saw them waiting for me in the distance. The thought of being lost with no way to contact them and uncertainty on how to get back was not comforting to say the least....I was relieved to see them after my brief episode of Jennifer syndrome.
Plus my friends Ryan and Kristie and I are still learning street etiquette on the bike...so it seemed like it took us forever to get there....well, that and the fact that less than a mile away we couldn't figure out where to go to get to the exact location. I was relieved to have Ryan with us, who seems to understand the roads well.
Plus my friends Ryan and Kristie and I are still learning street etiquette on the bike...so it seemed like it took us forever to get there....well, that and the fact that less than a mile away we couldn't figure out where to go to get to the exact location. I was relieved to have Ryan with us, who seems to understand the roads well.
Fortunately a nice lady showed us the way to Trinity church and pointed out CS Lewis grave to us. It would have been easy to miss because it's actually a very modest memorial...which is what I'm sure CS Lewis would have preferred despite the amount of respect from Christians and scholars worldwide.
The cemetary contends for one of the most beautiful I have ever encountered. If I were to imagine the perfect peaceful churchyard cemetary this would be it. The grass was a lively green, and many of the memorials doubled at flower beds. Some of the markers were accented with wild ivey, and purple flowers were blooming everywhere. This mixed with the perfect amount of sunshine and blue skies made then entire church yard seem enchanted by nature. I was delighted to finally witness some of Oxfords more natural magnificence. 
Surrounding the churcyarch was a stone fence, on the other side of which were the greenest fields and a pair of Shetland Ponies!! I think I reverted back to the age of 10 when I had an obsessive love for all things equestrian. This truth is revealed through my look of childish excitement in the pictures with "my little pony" as I would like to title it.
Trinity Chruch was built in 1849, so its not as old as some of the churches around here...still its older than most of the churches I've been to in states. Its is designed in 15th century style so it has a lot of character. CS Lewis preached first here in March 1942. Next to the pew that he and his brother always sat at, there is a Narnia stained glass window...we weren't able to go inside to see it though.
After the churchyard, we made our way to "The Kilns", the name of the house Lewis lived in at Headington.
While most of the area around his house is now a neighborhood, part of it has been made into a nature reserve. This area around his house inspired much of the adventures in The Chronicles of Narnia. As Ryan, Kristie and I explored around the area I thought about all the wonderful parts of the forest that must have sparked his imagination...especially if it expanded even further than this nature preserve back then. 
We traveled around the little pond, and found this entrance to some undergound tunnel...which we could not really go in because we didn't have flash lights....it would have been neat to explore though.
The ground was extremely soft and very muddy....and of course, though I tried to balance from one log to the next I ended up falling in the mud.
On our way out we saw another path with steps that led up a huge hill....we could not resist and decided to go up...I am so glad we did! The view from the top of the hill was just amazing. I could see for miles in the distance, beyond all the little houses of Headington to the far hills!
At the end of the path we discovered a swing....which invited us to play for a while. This honestly was some of the most sheer fun I've had..just releasing all my energy and laughter spinning on this swing...and even more watching Kristie and Ryan have a go on it.
I honestly would rather spend time hiking in these woods and just enjoying the beauty of the country more than all the architectural wonders I've been fortunate to see thus far. I suppose there's just something about being able to engage with the scenery in a way that is not possible in a magnificent cathedral or the city.
I suppose because the day's excursion of the trail walks and the random swing we found would be similar to something I would enjoying doing at home with my friends, this day made me feel very much like I am more a part of Oxford now...and I'm not even sure if that's the right way to describe it, but it will have to do.
We stopped by an italian cafe on the way home, where I had a hot pannini of chicken pesto and mozarella. We split these deserts -one was a butterscotch with chocolate and the other was chocolate and powedered sugar..they were sooo good.
The ride home seemed much faster, except that it had become soo chilly!
Going down the hill, of course was much more enjoyable than going up.
Sheldonian Sing and a Sentamu Sermon!
I forgot to mention that I joined the Regent's Chapel Choir. I'm happy to be involved in something musical again since it's been 3 years since I sang in Georgetown's Concert Choir and can only do special music at Hillcrest (my home church) occasionally when I am at home.
Friday night we had the honor of singing in Oxford's Sheldonian Theater where the Archbishop of York, John Sentamu was speaking.
The Sheldonian is one of the most majestic, intricately designed buildings I have been in yet at Oxford. It was designed by Sir Christopher Wren and built in 1664-8, so it is rich in history and truly a work of art. It is a circular building which seats 1,000 people and hosts all the matriculations and graduations of the Oxford University Colleges.
John Sentamu is the current Archbishop of York, which means he is second most senior member of the Church of England (Anglican Church) The archbishop above him is the Archbishop of Canterbury. He was born in Uganda, and his ministry is notable as he is the first black man to become Archbishop of York. He has been here in Oxford the entire week presenting lectures pertaining to the Oxford Unversity Mission with the theme of "Jesus Christ, Suffering and Glory". (This is a picture of his inauguration...he was not dressed like this for the speech)
The evening began with our Regent's choir singing several songs and hymns of worship as people entered the theater and settled in their seats. We sang hymns in several from several different cultures including Spanish, Welsh, African, and Latin. Students from Regent's supplied the instrumental music as well. All voices, guitars, bongos, violin, flute, and cello combined in the theater made for a beautiful sound. The Archbishop even joined us on the drums in the African hymns "Nkosi Nkosi" and "Sanna"...so that was quite fun!
The Archbishop then presented his speech which was packed with convicting messages concerning the Christian's mission to the world, and the love God has for his people. I wish I could remember every bit of it, but a few lines do stand out as memorable...and they may be a little out of order from the speech, a bit stream of conciousness but it's all still important I think:
1. The Archbishop talked for a while about how the one of the most significant images to remember of Christ is the footwashing he did for his desciples. It is evident of Christ's intent to serve those that he loves. So, he suggested that one of the most important things we can do as Christians sometimes is be still and quiet and let God serve us and minister to us.
He also noted that a Christian who is not willing to wash another's feet (serve) is not fulfilling his mission completely. We are commanded as a church to Go and invited others to share the love and suffering of Christ. One of the greatest downfalls of the Church is forgetting that that is our aim...instead we emphasize "issues"...
"One of the most dangerous things you can do as a Christian is to pray for God to work through you....because He'll do it!"
At times the conviction with which Sentamu spoke with reminded me of my youth pastor Bill. He looked at us one time and said something like "God is Serious!....and he's Serious because he loves us"
he continued however, to mention that as Christians, we need to learn to laugh at ourselves more....not to be so stern and taking life so seriously.
The thing I appreciated about his speech was his admittance that there is a great divide between what he knows he is to do and what he does as a follower of Christ....holding up his hands at different levels he said "My knowlege is somewhere up here and my actions somewhere down there...and my hope is that they continue to become closer and closer to the same line and that they will eventually be the same".
I suppose I just wouldn't have expected an archbishop to be so humble about his ability to live a life centered upon Christ...his testimony reminded me that my faith is a journey which hopefully will grow stronger each day, and the fact that I'm not perfect is no reason to lose hope in Christ, because his mission is his Love for me despite my failure...and my mission should be to continue sharing that love with others and allowing my life to be the best witness it possibly can of that love...
I wish I could remember the other thoughts that I found compelling from his sermon....maybe they will come to me later. Overall, I found his presentation an encouraging reminder of Christ's love for me, and a challenging reminder that above anything that I'm "here" (at Oxford, or in Ky, or anywhere) first to seek and further His mission.... something which I find easy to lose track of when I become insanely focused on my studies or just other parts of my life in general.
On that note, it's amazing how God has used different avenues to bless me while I have been here. Sometimes it's the speakers I've heard, but many times its through the students I have met who have a very strong conviction to serve God. Not that everyone here at Regents is a Christian, but I am fortunate to live with 5 theology students here who are committed in their faith and I find myself questioning how commited I am to witnessing to others as they seem to be....perhaps I am a little spoiled in the Bible belt by being surrounded by church goers or people who have a working knowledge of Christ for the most part....in England the statistics are not so promising, and the need for committed Christians to share their faith is great. So the motivation of the students I live with is strong, I find that inspiring.
After the singing and the speech, I went to pizza express with many of the Regent's students who were in the choir and who just attended to support us. Now, a restaraunt titles "pizza express" in America seems as though it would be cheap and like fast food....contrarily this place was quite classy for a pizza joint...and very authentic italian style. It was my first dinner out with Regent's students...we had been in the Sheldonian until 11 so by the time we got our food it was at least 12:00 or so!!! I was starving..but it my cheese pizza (the Margherita) was delicious! And the company was great as well. Needless to say, it was a very late night, but well worth it.
Friday night we had the honor of singing in Oxford's Sheldonian Theater where the Archbishop of York, John Sentamu was speaking.
The Sheldonian is one of the most majestic, intricately designed buildings I have been in yet at Oxford. It was designed by Sir Christopher Wren and built in 1664-8, so it is rich in history and truly a work of art. It is a circular building which seats 1,000 people and hosts all the matriculations and graduations of the Oxford University Colleges.
John Sentamu is the current Archbishop of York, which means he is second most senior member of the Church of England (Anglican Church) The archbishop above him is the Archbishop of Canterbury. He was born in Uganda, and his ministry is notable as he is the first black man to become Archbishop of York. He has been here in Oxford the entire week presenting lectures pertaining to the Oxford Unversity Mission with the theme of "Jesus Christ, Suffering and Glory". (This is a picture of his inauguration...he was not dressed like this for the speech)
The evening began with our Regent's choir singing several songs and hymns of worship as people entered the theater and settled in their seats. We sang hymns in several from several different cultures including Spanish, Welsh, African, and Latin. Students from Regent's supplied the instrumental music as well. All voices, guitars, bongos, violin, flute, and cello combined in the theater made for a beautiful sound. The Archbishop even joined us on the drums in the African hymns "Nkosi Nkosi" and "Sanna"...so that was quite fun!
The Archbishop then presented his speech which was packed with convicting messages concerning the Christian's mission to the world, and the love God has for his people. I wish I could remember every bit of it, but a few lines do stand out as memorable...and they may be a little out of order from the speech, a bit stream of conciousness but it's all still important I think:
1. The Archbishop talked for a while about how the one of the most significant images to remember of Christ is the footwashing he did for his desciples. It is evident of Christ's intent to serve those that he loves. So, he suggested that one of the most important things we can do as Christians sometimes is be still and quiet and let God serve us and minister to us.
He also noted that a Christian who is not willing to wash another's feet (serve) is not fulfilling his mission completely. We are commanded as a church to Go and invited others to share the love and suffering of Christ. One of the greatest downfalls of the Church is forgetting that that is our aim...instead we emphasize "issues"...
"One of the most dangerous things you can do as a Christian is to pray for God to work through you....because He'll do it!"
At times the conviction with which Sentamu spoke with reminded me of my youth pastor Bill. He looked at us one time and said something like "God is Serious!....and he's Serious because he loves us"
he continued however, to mention that as Christians, we need to learn to laugh at ourselves more....not to be so stern and taking life so seriously.
The thing I appreciated about his speech was his admittance that there is a great divide between what he knows he is to do and what he does as a follower of Christ....holding up his hands at different levels he said "My knowlege is somewhere up here and my actions somewhere down there...and my hope is that they continue to become closer and closer to the same line and that they will eventually be the same".
I suppose I just wouldn't have expected an archbishop to be so humble about his ability to live a life centered upon Christ...his testimony reminded me that my faith is a journey which hopefully will grow stronger each day, and the fact that I'm not perfect is no reason to lose hope in Christ, because his mission is his Love for me despite my failure...and my mission should be to continue sharing that love with others and allowing my life to be the best witness it possibly can of that love...
I wish I could remember the other thoughts that I found compelling from his sermon....maybe they will come to me later. Overall, I found his presentation an encouraging reminder of Christ's love for me, and a challenging reminder that above anything that I'm "here" (at Oxford, or in Ky, or anywhere) first to seek and further His mission.... something which I find easy to lose track of when I become insanely focused on my studies or just other parts of my life in general.
On that note, it's amazing how God has used different avenues to bless me while I have been here. Sometimes it's the speakers I've heard, but many times its through the students I have met who have a very strong conviction to serve God. Not that everyone here at Regents is a Christian, but I am fortunate to live with 5 theology students here who are committed in their faith and I find myself questioning how commited I am to witnessing to others as they seem to be....perhaps I am a little spoiled in the Bible belt by being surrounded by church goers or people who have a working knowledge of Christ for the most part....in England the statistics are not so promising, and the need for committed Christians to share their faith is great. So the motivation of the students I live with is strong, I find that inspiring.
After the singing and the speech, I went to pizza express with many of the Regent's students who were in the choir and who just attended to support us. Now, a restaraunt titles "pizza express" in America seems as though it would be cheap and like fast food....contrarily this place was quite classy for a pizza joint...and very authentic italian style. It was my first dinner out with Regent's students...we had been in the Sheldonian until 11 so by the time we got our food it was at least 12:00 or so!!! I was starving..but it my cheese pizza (the Margherita) was delicious! And the company was great as well. Needless to say, it was a very late night, but well worth it.
Rowin' on A River
Last Tuesday, the 30th I had my first chance to practice rowing on the Thames River!
It was much easier than the practice tank because the boat actually moved when we rowed. It's definitely not as easy as it looks though, because keeping the boat balance depends upon all 8 women sitting up nice and straight and even on the seat....and that's not really easy to think about when trying to keep one's stroke in the correct form.
It is probably the most team involving activity I think I have ever attempted....as Cross Country and Track were more individually driven. So to think that every move I make incorrectly...shifting my weight or not keeping the timing of the stroke, or holding my paddle to high or too low....becomes a little nerve-racking. I felt like I was constantly holding the rest of the boat back when I couldn't get my paddle out of the water quickly enough.... not to mention I kept hitting my hands on the side of the boat...and I'm sure that's not suppose to happen. Ah well, its all in the pratice and I'm sure I'll get the hang of it soon enough. The girls said we did good as a group for our first "outing" as a group...so that was nice, even though my perfectionism issue tells me that I need to work on getting it down soon. :)
Nevertheless, I enjoyed getting out and exercising on the water so much. I don't have a picture of me in the boat yet, so this random one will just have to do and you can just imagine my face here.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
The New Love of My Life
( You can picture this as me now though...riding with the big dogs)
The highlight of my week has been my first ever Bike purchase!
On sunday Kristie and I finally decided it was time to break down and get bikes, mainly because all the guys had them by this point, and walking home alone for 2 miles at night is apparently a bad idea...or at least that's what I've been told.
Oxford is a pretty safe place, but I guess thieves are attracted to obvious unassuming gals like me who think they can handle pretty much any danger that comes their way....danger? what danger?
did I ever tell you about that night I got stalked home in the 7th grade...??? if not, just ask, it's classic.
So anyway, ever since then I have responded in one of 2 ways, The first is my irrational confidence that nothings' going to get me. The second is my irrational fear of a lot of different people I pass in the dark on the way home. Any night either irrationality could be at play...
Needless to say I am soooo excited to have my bike. I'd like to see some mugger guy try to scare me as I'm flying past on my one speed golden REGALE....(handmade in Britain w/ a little picture of a british flag where it says so)....complete with a bell that could probably double as an alarm...that is if he could ever get me to slow down enough to have to use it...
Hah.
The downside to this is that I no longer have an excuse not to study past 9 in the library.....
But I can not explain to you how liberated I feel riding the Regale for 15 glorious minutes coming into college. Gone are the days of leaving the house a full 45 minutes before having to be anywhere. Gone are my limits to the NIKES and my walking boots....the heels are ready to roll. (well the liklihood of me dressing up to read in the library isn't that great...but the possibility is there) Most of all, Gone are my poor little feet that feel as though I have broken them for good.
Now, there is this little factor that comes into play when riding to school which requires me to employ the irrational confidence....and that is that double decker bus coming up beside me ...in my lane...less than oh 5 ft away maybe? or at least that what it feels like when it blows on by sending me a fearful gusty chill as the people inside just kind of stare in that "i'm so ready to be home after my boring job all day" look....
I don't know what's worse...getting passed unexpectedly by the lime green montrosity (yeah they aren't all red) OR...ME having to navigate my way between two of them as they are going through the massive contruction area that has taken over down town Oxford.
My latest plan of attack has been to find some other crazy biker riding through town and just following right in behind him...this has proven to work well. Especially since I'm still getting used to the who left side of the road thing. Last night was pretty terrifying however, as it was rush hour and I found myself amongst 10 of 15 other bikers......i felt like i was in the tour de France....more specifically losing the tour de France.
Hopefully there will be no bike disasters to report. I have this fear of my bike getting stolen for some reason. Maybe because I read yesterday that that amounts to 30% of the crime here. huh. well, we all know my chances then of something like that happening.
The highlight of my week has been my first ever Bike purchase!
On sunday Kristie and I finally decided it was time to break down and get bikes, mainly because all the guys had them by this point, and walking home alone for 2 miles at night is apparently a bad idea...or at least that's what I've been told.
Oxford is a pretty safe place, but I guess thieves are attracted to obvious unassuming gals like me who think they can handle pretty much any danger that comes their way....danger? what danger?
did I ever tell you about that night I got stalked home in the 7th grade...??? if not, just ask, it's classic.
So anyway, ever since then I have responded in one of 2 ways, The first is my irrational confidence that nothings' going to get me. The second is my irrational fear of a lot of different people I pass in the dark on the way home. Any night either irrationality could be at play...
Needless to say I am soooo excited to have my bike. I'd like to see some mugger guy try to scare me as I'm flying past on my one speed golden REGALE....(handmade in Britain w/ a little picture of a british flag where it says so)....complete with a bell that could probably double as an alarm...that is if he could ever get me to slow down enough to have to use it...
Hah.
The downside to this is that I no longer have an excuse not to study past 9 in the library.....
But I can not explain to you how liberated I feel riding the Regale for 15 glorious minutes coming into college. Gone are the days of leaving the house a full 45 minutes before having to be anywhere. Gone are my limits to the NIKES and my walking boots....the heels are ready to roll. (well the liklihood of me dressing up to read in the library isn't that great...but the possibility is there) Most of all, Gone are my poor little feet that feel as though I have broken them for good.
Now, there is this little factor that comes into play when riding to school which requires me to employ the irrational confidence....and that is that double decker bus coming up beside me ...in my lane...less than oh 5 ft away maybe? or at least that what it feels like when it blows on by sending me a fearful gusty chill as the people inside just kind of stare in that "i'm so ready to be home after my boring job all day" look....
I don't know what's worse...getting passed unexpectedly by the lime green montrosity (yeah they aren't all red) OR...ME having to navigate my way between two of them as they are going through the massive contruction area that has taken over down town Oxford.
My latest plan of attack has been to find some other crazy biker riding through town and just following right in behind him...this has proven to work well. Especially since I'm still getting used to the who left side of the road thing. Last night was pretty terrifying however, as it was rush hour and I found myself amongst 10 of 15 other bikers......i felt like i was in the tour de France....more specifically losing the tour de France.
Hopefully there will be no bike disasters to report. I have this fear of my bike getting stolen for some reason. Maybe because I read yesterday that that amounts to 30% of the crime here. huh. well, we all know my chances then of something like that happening.
Thursday at 5...My New Favorite Time
Aaah. So I just finished my third essay of Hilary Term. The essays are due each week to my tutor on Thursdays by 5 on email. For those of you who know what a perfectionist I am, you'll understand that I refuse to stop working until my deadline....no matter how hopeless it is to continue any more. Needless to say, I'm beginning to love just the thought of 5pm on Thursdays.
I've been putting off blogging for the entire week, simply because it becomes a bigger distraction than facebook for me. Last week I found my self writing forever or posting pictures on here...when I should have been reading or something...So this week I tried to fix that.
I have to say, no matter how much I am determined to accomplish more each week than the last, I always feel like it is simply never enough to produce an essay like I want to. Grant it, the essay narrows done all that information on a topic to just one question, but I just don't feel like I will ever be able to read enough. I definitely read a ton more this week than last week, but I feel as though all I've accomplished is giving myself more options of theories to choose from for a practically unsolvable discussion. I suppose that's just how it is though.
The more you know the more you realize you don't know anything at all.
I've decided that internal competitions are simply the most unpleasant to lose. I honestly couldn't care less how horrible of a writer I am in comparison to my tutor...obviously that's what I'm here to work on some....but feeling like I should just be able to construct a more precise argument each week from my reading and thinking that I may have just confused myself more in the middle of the essay than when I started...well, it's truly exhausting. At times I have this moment of brilliance where this decent idea for a thesis comes to mind...and then as I start to work it out it becomes completely illogical and just absurd. But I have to eventually just write....or else I find myself reading and reading and never putting my own thoughts down.
I do enjoy my topic though. Political Theory. This week I was supposed to determine where our obligations to the government or political sphere derive from since we're kind of just born into with no real choice in the matter. Questions like that are pretty interesting if you don't become like me and completely obsesses over whether staying in a country means you've chosen it or if you're just too complacent to decide.....my question was this:
"Involuntarily received benefits can not be grounds for political obligations" Discuss.
I'm glad that question is over.
For those of you who know me (room mates), you can guess how much I don't sleep on Wednesday nights anymore. I wonder if something like that will ever change or if I will always insist on toturing myself like that. I wonder if I can ever sleep the night before a paper is due. I truly don't remember the last time I did.. That should be on my to do list of things to work on.....in life. :)
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